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A good leader sets direction for the team, but doesn’t dismiss the voices of those following him.

Recognize that you must gain her trust before you get her submission, and if you do something to betray her trust, you can’t be upset at her lack of desire to submit at that point. However, if you find a good man, and he shows the ability to be a good leader, let him lead.

It ties in historically with the above issues with White women traditionally being painted as more docile and Black women having to fill male roles that White women just haven’t had to fill. However, what about the man who does not have good leadership skills, the man, who if followed, could lead a woman astray, the man who is weak-minded and weak-willed, the man who is not a good man?

A Black woman is not going to submit until she’s had enough time to see what type of man she’s dealing with and if he reveals himself to be a man not worth submitting to, then she will not.

Because, as a people who have historically received so much hatred, we, Black women and men, so desperately deserve love and respect.

Here are the common issues Black men mention as to why they decide to not date Black women, where the issues stem from and how both sides can own up and fix them.

Also, since dating a Black man is more of a novelty or thrill for White women, and they do not have any cultural context of growing up and dealing with Black men, they lack a certain hesitation to submit to them that would more inherently come from a Black woman.

Read the comments section of any posts on interracial dating.

If you say “I don’t need a man,” remove it from your vocabulary immediately. Black women have the tenacity, intelligence and dedication to carry themselves and whole families on their backs, but that’s not how it’s supposed to be.

It’s true that some Black women have had to fill the shoes of Black men in cases where the men have been removed from our community due to mass incarceration, where the men have chosen not to fulfill their responsibilities as fathers, or where the woman’s level of financial success has scared away some men based on his insecurity.

This notion comes from the age old “angry, black woman” idea.

Black men have used this as a reason why they prefer the more “calm, level-headed” White woman.